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Writer's pictureAshley Perryman, LPC

Child Directed Play: Dos and Don'ts

As parents, it is often our job to create limits for our children and correct behaviors that could have negative consequences. Now it is our turn! Here is our list of Child Directed Play: Dos and Don'ts for your time together!


Things To Do During Special Play Time


  1. Do show your child how important this time with them is to you.

  2. Do keep rules few but ensure the children understand them. For example, "Our special play time is 30 minutes. I will give you a 5 min warning." or "We have lots of fun things we can do during special play time. If there is something we cannot do, for your safety, I will tell you."

  3. Do address behaviors that could cause harm to ensure their safety.

  4. Do allow the child to direct your role in the play.

  5. Do allow your child to express emotions like fear or anger, even if they feel uncormfortable for you.

  6. Do give 5, 3, and 1 minute warnings that the special play time is ending.


Don'ts During Special Play


  1. Don't criticize and refrain from correction, if possible, unless your child is unsafe.

  2. Don't evaluate their play but instead reflect their feelings.

  3. Don't correct expressions of anger or dislike.

  4. Don't ask questions if possible. If you need to try an I wonder statement. "I wonder what you think the barbie should be doing."

  5. Don't allow the play time to go past 30 minutes by more than a minute or two. Ideas for transition are listed below.

Tips To Transition from Play Time


  1. Reflection: “It can be tough to stop something you love, but our play time is over for today.”

  2. Reassurance of Future Play: “I wonder what you would like to do next week for our play time?"

  3. Looking Forward: "It is snack time. Would you like an apple or an orange?"

  4. Physical Cues: These could be cleaning up the toys or opening the door.


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